Friday, April 30, 2010

Workplace Anger, or "Several Things Your Pharmacy Employees Won't Tell you"

I was going to post a list of things that piss me off at work. It was going to be like the feature in Reader's Digest called "10 Things Your *insert profession here* Won't Tell You." I was just about to post it when I remembered that I like being employed and I like receiving a paycheck.The first one was similar, but more detailed and more profane. MUCH more profane. Here is a smaller, less controversial version. READ NUMBER ONE!

Dear pharmacy customers, here are 10 things you don't know that we are thinking:

10.) I can't stand Medicaid Fraud. We know who you are. We resent paying for everything for you.
9.)  You DO have a high copay. Sorry. You signed up for the plan. If you didn't read the policy, don't blame me.
8.) We HATE that people who are not disabled use the drive through.
7.) You need to wait for me to tell you if we have the drug in stock!
6.) We HATE when you are in a hurry. Loved one just out of surgery? Take them home and come back. I'm not going to hurry because they had wisdom teeth out and are in the car half asleep.
5.) We think you are faking your pain most of the time. We can tell a sincere urgency from an impatient one.
4.) You can see that I have 9 people in line at the register. Don't hold me up with a cart full of crap you don't need.
3.) Call your own doctor for refills. They may want to see you and we have ever less time.
2.) Screw you. Shut up. Sit down. Too many of numbers 10 through 3 put me in a bad mood. I'm less efficient and make more mistakes (and that makes the wait longer!) when I'm pissed off. Let me concentrate. The sooner I finish the prescription before yours, the sooner you get to go on about your day.
1.) I will do everything in my power to hide this all from you. I want you to come back because repeat business is often good business. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have a job. Thank you for continuing to aggravate and delight me.

Please consider our feelings as well as your own. We need each other and the better you treat us, the better we will treat you.

Enough is Enough

I've had it with this slacking off. It's time for a good rant, even if it is unorganized and idealistically all over the place. Enjoy. Or don't. I don't care any more.

Fuck the public. All of them. Why is it that people don't seem to want to understand ANYTHING?! With every thing we do, there are certain things that must be understood in order to succeed at the task at hand. There are rules and regulations and laws that are in place to guide us in the right direction. There are instruction manuals to help us build things, and use every day items.

It has been a long standing ideal of mine that you need to understand how to use something before you should be allowed to use it. If you want to drive, you must learn how to drive, but more importantly, you should have a basic understanding of how the car works-what makes it go? If you want to use a computer, you should have some knowledge of how it works. You should know the names of some key components that make up the total experience.

YOU NEED TO HAVE THE CAPACITY TO LEARN, OR ELSE, DARWIN WINS.

Can't figure out why your computer doesn't work when you go to any website and click any link that leads anywhere because you just can't control your impulses and need to know what something is? You are the reason there is internet junk mail. You are the reason advertising is so successful on the internet. You are the scourge of my existence. If you went to a website to look at dinner recipes, look at the recipes. Don't click on the ad on the side of the page that says they have the best hams on the planet. You WILL regret it. I will regret it. THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD WILL REGRET IT! Get in your fucking car and go to a book store to buy a cook book. If you are asking me to look something up online for you, don't look over my shoulder and tell me I should have clicked on a different link. If you knew what you were looking for you would not have asked me to step in. DO IT YOUR FUCKING SELF.

Do you know what makes your car move? Do you understand how the internal combustion engine works? Do you know how to operate the vehicle? READ THE FUCKING MANUAL. Better yet, don't buy the fucking car in the first place unless you know how to do basic things with it. Take the fucking bus. You can actually pay someone who knows something to bring you places. Can you check your own oil? Probably not. Good thing I only said CHECK the oil. What would you do if you had to add oil?  And just so you know, it is NOT difficult to change the fucking windshield wipers! DO IT! SHUT THE FUCK UP! The guy at the auto parts store does NOT want to come out in the pouring rain to change your god damned wiper blades that you should have replaced months ago when you noticed they stopped wiping well.

If your car makes a funny sound you bring it to a mechanic. That mechanic then tells you that your breaks are no longer good. Do you question the mechanic? Do you have him call the car manufacturer to see how that is possible? Do you complain that the mechanic should have called you long before the breaks got in such despicable shape? No. You do not do any of that. You nod and say, "Okay. How much will this cost? Oh, that much? Okay. I'll just be sitting here waiting quietly while you work. Thank you." WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT ALL ABOUT!?

I WILL NOT HELP YOU IF YOU DON'T DO WHAT I SAY. THERE IS A REASON I TOLD YOU TO DELETE THAT FILE. I DON'T DECIDE WHAT PROGRAMS BEHAVE IN WHAT WAYS. THERE IS A REASON I TOLD YOU TO GO TO A CERTAIN PLACE AND GET A CERTAIN ITEM. SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE..

IF YOU DON'T SHOW ME THAT YOU HAVE THE CAPACITY TO LEARN OR EVEN A MODICUM OF KNOWLEDGE ABOUT THAT WHICH YOU HAVE ASKED, I WILL NOT HELP YOU. YOU ARE NOT WORTH MY TIME. REMEMBER THOSE QUESTIONS I ASKED YOU TO START WITH? THE ANSWERS TO WHICH YOU REPLIED, "DUHHHHH... I DON'T KNOW." I WAS TESTING YOU. I MAY NOT BE THE MOST INTELLIGENT PERSON ON EARTH, BUT I KNOW MORE THAN YOU DO AND I WILL NOT LET YOU BE A DRAIN ON ME ANYMORE.

FUCK.

OFF.

MORONS.




Damn it.